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“Top 10 Reasons To Use Promotional Products”

Injecting humor into your account prospecting efforts

4/26/2018 | Rick Greene, MAS, Be Bold, Be Different, Be Memorable

Today’s lesson, class, is one of injecting humor into your account prospecting efforts and how effective that can be in grabbing attention and being remembered.  Specifically, utilizing The Top 10 List.

The Top 10 List is a classic of comedy, first developed by David Letterman for his Late Night shows and still used today in a wide variety of mediums to communicate important points with a satirical slant or just for flat-out rip-roaring ribaldry.  How long has it been since your ribs were rip-roared by Ricky?  Too long, I’m betting.

Here in HALO-Land I’m known as ‘The Writer’.  When someone needs that perfect email or a list of promo taglines or a hard-hitting RFP cover letter, they come to me.  I produce the material quickly and, when allowed, with a twisty sense of humor that positions us apart from the crowd.

That’s what effective humor can do – grab attention, differentiate, induce a smile and get the point across.  So when one of our Account Executives in Texas needed a Letterman-style Top 10 List of the reasons to use Promotional Products, I dove in with gleeful abandon.  That’s not easy to do, just ask Gleeful Abandon, who can be quite stand-offish and persnickety.

This was to be presented live to a potential client in the housing industry.  Even better.  The reasons came fast and furious and I even had a couple of running gags throughout.  My salesperson loved the list and presented them aloud, in front of a large group of promotion-minded realtors, who roared and rocked with so much laughter, she thought she WAS Letterman for a few moments.  Later that week, she landed the account and booked first orders for clic-stick pens and mouse pads just yesterday.

I thought that this Top 10 Reasons To Use Promotional Products list would be worth sharing here on PromoCorner since many of us are asked to speak or write about the powerful reasons to use branded merchandise.  You can use this list as is, adapt it for your needs or write your own list… but use it as another tool in your arsenal to communicate the POWER of what you do with a dollop of humor!

Top 10 Reasons To Use Promotional Products

10. Because ‘Brand’ spelled backwards is ‘Impact.’  Trust us, it really is… don’t go spelling backwards because, awwww, you did it, didn’t you?  You and the rest of your Dnard Snooffub!  (She held up a big sign with Dnarb Snooffub on it and gave them a few beats to mentally reverse the words.)

9. Because ‘Impact’ spelled sideways is ‘Brand.’  There.  Bet you can’t spell sideways, can you?

8. Because Promotional Products are the Advertising Medium that remain to make an ongoing impact, day in, day out, most nights, during the weekend and on most holidays except Arbor Day because… well, we gotta focus on those beloved trees.

7. Because the Logo Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword.  Unless the Sword has a logo on it… then it’s a Freakin’ Promo-Lightsaber!

6. Because Branded Apparel is currently the most popular advertising tool in existence.  We can put your logo on shirts, jackets, hats, socks, sweats, even those silky little unmentionables.  However, the black nightgowns we did branded with WHERE’S THE BEEF? probably weren’t our best idea…

5. Because if you put all of the eighteen trillion branded pens end to end, they would reach up to the planet Mars.  That’s a pretty silly way to get to the planet Mars, but – hey.  Whatever works.  At least you’ll have a pen when you get there.

4. Because people speed through DVR’d commercials, change the radio station, skip the pop-up video and flip past advertisements in papers and magazines, but they look at that branded calendar on the wall eight to ten times per day, day in, day out, most nights, during the weekend and on most holidays except Arbor Day because… well, that calendar was probably a relative of one of those beloved trees.  Let’s not go there.

3. Because it takes multiple exposures to penetrate the brain of the average person and go from oblivia to brand awareness to brand preference.  Or you can use a drill but that gets messy and, if you aren’t a brain surgeon, you’ll probably get locked up.  Use a branded coffee mug instead.  They’re legal and… COFFEE!

2. Because nine realtors out of ten know that leaving behind a notepad, pen and a travel mug with their name, logo, website and contact info on them is the most effective way to keep their critical information in front of their customers.  Especially since bus benches are SO bulky and when you leave those behind, a bus usually pulls up, spewing noxious fumes.

1. Finally, the Number One reason to use Promotional Products… because they offer measurable results in getting your important message and information in front of your customers and prospects.  No joke here.  Promotional products are the MOST POWERFUL WAY to accomplish your marketing goals, period.  Don’t be a Dnard Nooffub!  Partner with (insert your name and company name here) to assure YOUR brand is the one that remains to be seen!

This list is effective because, even though there are goofy gags throughout, there are still important points in most of the reasons.  And it’s doubly-so when that last point – that NUMBER ONE reason – ends up NOT being a joke, but the most important point of all.  

Thank you very much.  I’ll be here all week.  Try the chicken.  It’s veal-flavored.

Rick Greene MAS is the Western Regional Vice-President for HALO Branded Solutions and writes regular ‘Be Bold, Be Different, Be Memorable’ columns for various industry publications and websites including this monthly PromoCorner blog.  He is also the author of the fiction books Shroom! and Boofalo! and the forthcoming biography Henry Brandon King Of The Bogeymen.

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