Isn’t it amazing how the word “can” is immediately negated when you add the word “not” after it? Or turn it into a contraction as in, “I can’t do this” or “I can’t make that call because I might get rejected.” Ever heard yourself saying, “I can’t dream because I don’t have the skills to make them come true”?
I know I’ve used the word "can’t" thousands of times in my life and rarely was it used to inspire and empower. "Can’t" is the contraction for can and not, two words that when used separately have opposite meanings. It’s a word that limits our abilities and gives others an impression of weakness.
While we all use many words that are limiting, I believe "can’t" is one of the most harmful as it reinforces a lack of confidence and an attitude of negativity in our minds. Our brain is an amazing computer and as with any computer, the output it produces is based on the input it receives. Garbage in, garbage out as the saying goes.
So how do we change our behavior to ensure our thoughts and actions align with the goals and dreams we want to achieve? The first step is to take responsibility for your life, 100% responsibility with no excuses. It’s not your parent’s fault, it’s not your spouse or your kids or your co-workers’ fault that you aren’t making more money, didn’t get that promotion or aren’t living in the house you think you deserve. There is only one person to blame for where you are in life and that person stares back at you in the mirror every day.
I’ve realized where I am and where I’ll be in the future are a direct result of my daily choices. Not only the big choices I’m faced with, but the little ones as well. Here are five ways you can take responsibility and start living the life you deserve:
Stop blaming others for your lack of success: While it may be true that other people affect our lives, the bottom line is that there are always alternatives. If you don’t like the results you’re getting from the choices you make, then rethink those choices.
Create a clear list of goals: Without both short-term and long-term goals we’re all like corks floating on water, going wherever the tides take us. Goals ground us: they give us a path to success and a map to follow. If I know where I’m going, then I only have one person to blame if I don’t get there. The key is reviewing your goals regularly and if need be, adjusting them as a pilot or sailor would to stay on the course you’ve laid out.
Visualize success: I’ve pulled images off the Internet and out of magazines that literally give me pictures of my goals. The brain loves imagery and by using pictures and visualizing your successes, the neurons in our brains will find a way to make it happen. There is much research on this topic that proves the adage; a picture really is worth a thousand words.
Surround yourself with positive people: Think about the people you’re with the most. Are they positive or do they tend to complain and blame? Success breeds success and surrounding yourself with positive and inspiring people will keep you motivated to succeed. Vince Lombardi, head coach of the Green Bay Packers once said, “Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence.” Surround yourself with people who exude confidence and success.
Positive Self-Talk: It’s estimated we have over half-a-million thoughts each day and for many of us, those thoughts are negative. Our self-talk was conditioned early on by our parents, friends, television, movies and the media. We can change it though when we consciously catch ourselves talking negatively and challenging it. If you call yourself an idiot, ask yourself why? We must begin talking to ourselves as we would expect others to talk with us. If we’re positive and optimistic, then we’ll open our hearts and minds to a universe of opportunity we never thought possible.
Words can empower, or they can weaken. Think of the successes you’ve had in your life and how they might have been different if you’d thought “I can’t” instead of “I can.” Write down those successes you’re proud of and review them often to stay inspired. It all boils down to the attitude you have and the dialogue you carry on in your head. At the end of the day, always be like the little engine that could who told himself over and over again, “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.” You can.
After several decades on-the-radio as a DJ and traffic reporter, Steve Woodburn MAS, stumbled, as most do, into the world of promotional products. He spent 27 years on the distributor side and the last three as a supplier, which gives him a unique perspective on this crazy business and life in general.