Aside from some pre-parenthood years when my husband treated us to decadent end-of-year dinners, I've never been a big fan of New Year's Eve.
First, it happens at the start of my least favorite season: winter. Second, there tends to be expectations for it to be the #BestNightEver, which always results in at least one person (usually more) stumbling, arguing, in tears, or the trifecta of all three. Third, typically I've used it as a day to reflect on my missed goals and failures of the previous 365 days. Fourth, it’s often been a day I find myself preoccupied with worries about the year ahead. Fifth, generally I wrestle with deciding between all the things I should pick as my New Year's Resolution. Which terrible thing about me is the worst?
Downright ray of sunshine, I know.
But this year, I decided I wasn't going to let the NYE Blues be the boss of me. I wouldn't wince as the ball dropped. I wouldn't turn into a puddle of disappointment and dread as the calendar turned to 2016. And I wouldn’t make a single New Year's Resolution.
Not one.
It's not that I don't think I have things to change about myself. On the contrary, that list could extend well beyond the word count of this post. But resolutions don't work for me, and they don't work for most people.
Psychology Today contends that resolutions don't work because they focus on the things that make us feel bad about ourselves or make us feel inadequate. I contend that if we haven't been able to accomplish something in our day-to-day lives, why do we can think we will do it just because of an imaginary clean slate on an arbitrary day – especially when most people start out that day hung over?
The good news is this means if you gave resolutions a shot and have already failed, it's still possible to change. You just have to be smart about it.
Make changes based on what works for you and your personality.
Some people decide they are going to get up early and start working out every morning, and then the next day, they wake up and do it. (For the record, I hate those people.) Other types of people (ahem) would need the expectation of meeting a friend at the gym if they ever hoped to work out in the morning. In fact, they'd not only need to meet a friend but they would also need to be counted on to unlock the gym for everyone they know.
We are all unique individuals with different personality types who are motivated by different things. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to making successful change. What works for your best friend might not work for you, even if she swears it’s the best approach ever.
Maybe your BFF can have one fun size candy bar a day and it's enough to satisfy her enough to stay on course with her diet all day. Whereas if you attempted to eat just one fun size candy bar, you'd finish the rest of the bag and then find yourself digging around in your purse to eat an entire pack of Tic-Tacs. (Not that I have any experience with that.)
Just because a method doesn't work for you doesn't mean you're lazy, incompetent, or doomed to repeat your bad behaviors for eternity. It just means you have to try something else. You've changed many behaviors in your lifetime. Think back to how you did it, and try to model that approach on what you want to change now.
Change is rarely easy, but by changing your approach to find what works for your personality, it's possible.
Aubrey Collins is the director of marketing and communications at MediaTree, a supplier of branded digital entertainment cards. She fell in love with the promotional products industry in 2011 at her first PPAI Expo. She shares her perspective on everything from the industry, what parenting continues to teach her about business, to what marketing campaigns make her cry on her blog. Connect with her on Twitter or email her atacollins@mediatreegroup.com.