The things I learn when writing this column. Its title was lifted from an old Bette Midler song (“Friends”) which, for all these years, I though was written by Barry Manilow. It was, in fact, written by Buzzy Linhart and Mark “Moogy” Klingman. Any song written by a Buzzy and a Moogy can’t be all bad.
The song has been playing in my head for a while now, almost as a recurring theme. I know that, in previous columns and blog posts, I’ve touched on the concept of online “friends” (yes, those with quotation marks around the word), and who the real ones are versus the hundreds of people to whom I wish “happy birthday” not even remembering who they are (no…not you. Of course I remember you).
It’s played a different role lately, in terms of business. Yes, we all have friends in business, and we have “friends” as well, but what I want to go on (and on) about is the people with whom we choose to associate and work with. As I have mentioned before, when we are purchasing commodity items, we have a number of different vendors from whom to buy. How do you select one over the other? For me, it’s simple. I like to work with people I know.
I have been a proponent of this for years. “Relationship selling”. Working with people/companies I know, like, and trust.
As cynical as I am (and I am), it’s often difficult for me to cozy up to people. I think that whole “trust” thing is the sticking point. Once bitten, twice shy, three times…what the hell is wrong with me? As such, I cautiously vet companies and, yes, people.
And yet, every so often my faith in mankind is boosted when I witness a helping hand or a kind gesture. Professionally, I see this to some extent on a daily basis, when I read a query online, from someone looking for assistance sourcing an item or asking about a product, company, or service. Quite often, the answers come from the original poster’s competition…direct or otherwise…but there are good people who are not threatened by being helpful and generous and will help out as best they can. What’s wrong with that?
Recently, I was on the receiving end of a ridiculously generous act. I’m still shaking my head about this, but it’s a reminder that there are some good people out there. Believe me…I need these reminders. Frequently.
While it was no secret that the Trophy Wife and I were in the process of relocating back to the northeast (for the record: Florida has the heat…the northeast has the warmth), it’s not something we were specifically broadcasting either. Word got out to this person or that, but we didn’t make a big deal out of it.
We did, however, strategically let a few people know that, while we were each okay with our respective consultancies, we might be open to permanent, steady opportunities as well. Sort of a reboot for our return.
I emphasize that this was done strategically. I can’t and won’t speak for her efforts, but I know that I only reached out to select people whom I felt could offer the best help or direction. These weren’t necessarily people with whom I’m particularly close, but people on whom I felt I could count.
And yes…I heard from a few people. I’ll go so far as to say “several”. Many with kind words and encouragement. I guess there really are some good people out there.
One in particular struck me, and it’s about that with which I’ll close this column. As I said, I didn’t reach out to my entire universe. I’d go so far as to say I was pretty selective.
I heard back from someone with whom I used to have a good working relationship. Nothing went wrong, per-se…circumstances had simply kept us from working together recently. When I saw an email from him, I assumed it was another “Hey…good to hear from you…thanks for reaching out…be in touch” kind of thing.
To some extent, it was. However, he took it to another level. No, I’m not trying to shame those of you from whom I didn’t hear back (you’re more than welcome to feel guilty, however)…I was just blown away by his response.
In addition to his generic comments (for those of you with short attention spans, go back two paragraphs), he offered a most wonderful and appreciated gesture. He suggested that I go to his LinkedIn profile and go through all of his contacts. If I found anyone with whom I wanted to connect, he’d make that happen.
I was floored by this. It’s not something I’d ever consider doing. In fact, I’d never heard of anyone making such a gesture, and I’m pretty plugged into helping friends land new jobs.
I just felt that this was possibly the most generous gesture I’d encountered during any of my searches. To me, this was the ultimate in wanting to be helpful…literally and figuratively opening his business to me. This is a gesture I will always remember. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to repay it to him, but I promise you I will pay it forward.
You won’t often find Bette Midler and Fred Rogers in the same blog post. Sure, I can reminisce about our days partying together at Studio 54, but instead I’m going to close with a well-circulated anecdote about the Sweatered One. Mister Rogers often told this story about when he was a boy and would see scary things on the news: “My mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of disaster, I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers — so many caring people in this world.”
Look for the helpers. Such great, simple advice. As it turns out, they might be all around us.
Mike Schenker, MAS, is “all that” at Mike Schenker, Consulting, where he assists businesses entering the promotional products industry, mentors professionals, and offers association management. He is a promotional industry veteran and member of the Specialty Advertising Association of Greater New York (SAAGNY) Hall of Fame. He can be reached at mike@mikeschenker.com.