Five Tips to Rediscover Your Happiness

Despair, fear, anger, heartbreak, loneliness, and sadness are just a few of the  roller coaster of emotions we’ve all felt over the last few years. Many of us lost loved ones due to Covid, lost a job, had relationship challenges after spending so much time together in lockdowns, as well as many other life stresses which were never anticipated. And with all the variants of Covid which continue to raise their ugly heads, there seems to be no end to the disasters this pandemic has created. 

Given all these emotions, it’s important we rediscover ways to make ourselves feel happy again. Despite all the heartbreaks and challenges we’ve faced, we all deserve some happiness in our lives. Below are five ways I’ve found to bring some joy back to life again.

Spend time with friends and family: An ongoing study at Harvard University started in 1938, with 724 teenage boys who set out to find what determines long-term happiness and health. Some 83 years later, after periodic interviews, questionnaires, and medical check-ups, the data shows the number one thing that leads to long-term health and happiness are close relationships with friends, family, and the community. Loneliness is a silent killer, so resolve in 2022 to spend more time with those you love. 

Volunteer: Without exception, the people I’ve been interviewing for my podcast, proFILES, all have one thing in common: they spend time volunteering in their community. The benefits for those entities receiving help are pretty obvious, but what about those of us who spend time helping others? Studies show volunteering connects us with people and gives us a sense of pride, while building self-confidence and self-esteem. Most importantly given these last few years, volunteering can help counteract the feelings of depression, stress, and anxiety many of us have formed. And it encourages us to forget about our own problems while helping give comfort and solace to those who may not be as lucky as we are.

Exercise: For over 30 years I played racquetball five mornings a week at 6am, and I loved it. It kept me in shape, helped my metabolism, and kept me fit mentally as well. Then my knees gave out and a few years ago I had a total knee replacement and knew my racquetball days were over. But instead of feeling sorry for myself, I’ve found a new pleasure in simply walking and listening to either music or podcasts to keep my mind off the fact I’m exercising. The thing is, something as simple as walking a few miles will help reduce stress and releases chemicals that can improve your mood. The key is doing something you enjoy regularly be it yoga, riding a bike, exercise machines, tennis, stretching, or anything that gets your heart rate up and your blood pumping. While exercising may not necessarily make you happy, numerous studies show it will help reduce heart disease, improve your sleep, increase physical endurance and even improve your sexual prowess. And that should make you happy!

Get Outside Your Head: “Change your thoughts and you change your world.” - Norman Vincent Peale.  Recent studies have determined we have somewhere in the range of 6,000 thoughts per day and unfortunately, many of these are negative. Thoughts about bills, our children, a negative encounter at work, a fight with our partner, ill health and, well, you get it. Humans are wired into negativity as an evolutionary way to protect us from threats. That’s just the way it is, but instead of pouring over the same negative thoughts hour after hour, day after day, what can we do to get out of our own heads? Well, we’ve already talked about a few of them including exercising and volunteering. If you have a hobby, take a break and work on that or call a friend to find out how they’re doing. Whatever you do, it’s important to break the cycle of negativity and find something that brings you into the present. Here’s an interesting take on the things we worry about:

• 40% will never happen
• 30% have already happened and can’t be changed
• 12% are needless worries about health
• 10% are petty, misc. worries 
• Only 8% are genuine concerns over which you may or may not have control

Getting out of your head can only result in less stress, which in turn will bring about more peace in your life and more smiles to your face.

Enjoy the simple pleasures in life: In times of stress, we tend to focus inwardly and forget all the beauty in life that surrounds us. Isn’t it time to step back and realize what a wonderful world this is. Step outside and enjoy watching the squirrels play or take a walk with your dog, if you have one. Look up at the stars and planets at night and remember we’re a part of a huge universe that somehow all ties together. Get up early to watch a sunrise, read something inspirational or watch some funny videos, go to the park, a museum, or maybe a local play and bask in the moment. Do something completely unlike you just to see what it’s like. Maybe that means skydiving or zip lining, fly fishing or water skiing. Or maybe it’s something as simple as lighting a candle, taking a warm bath, and putting on your favorite music. There is so much life happening all around us and by doing simple things, I bet you’ll find yourself smiling more and thinking less, which leads to a happier countenance within.

We can’t change what’s happening in the world, but we can change what happens in our own world.  And for us to find joy and happiness, we must do that…change what happens in our world. The Dalai Lama, a Tibetan spiritual leader said, “Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” There will always be reasons for us to be negative given the world we live in, but it’s up to each one of to take the actions that ensure we find peace and happiness within. It’s not always easy, but it beats the alternative. 

“Pleasure is very seldom found where it is sought. Our brightest blazes are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks.” English Poet & Writer, Samuel Johnson