“…oh…and it’s nothing personal. Strictly business. I’m sure you understand”.
No, actually. I don’t. As far as I’m concerned, business is personal.
I’ve spent an entire career cultivating relationships. In many cases, I might go so far as to say these relationships evolved into genuine friendships. I’ve watched your kids grow up, suffered with you during health scares, marveled at your accomplishments, and joined you in cursing the fates.
I have done this because I care. Sincerely. It wasn’t about just furthering our business. It was about being human.
Before you start reading into the tea leaves: no…nothing has happened. If you had my sense of paranoia (which I don’t wish on anyone), you could add the word “yet” to the last sentence. Yes…every silver lining has its dark cloud and all that.
Real life and circumstances have just been on my mind a lot lately. Again…nothing’s wrong. I’m not dying or anything. Well…actually…I guess I am, but so are you. How’s your day looking now?
I recently had another in a series of “ah-ha” moments, where I realized that at this point in life and career it’s difficult to separate the business from the personal. One of my closest friends used to be my fiercest business competitor. One had nothing to do with the other.
As we’re evolving in business, we are encouraged to get inside the head of the client/associate/competitor in order to understand how they tick. In so doing, it can’t help but become personal.
As professionals, we are taught that we are our own brand. My brand may be sarcasm and good hair, but it’s my brand. Yours might be beer and sports, and you can work that into a business conversation smoothly and organically. I admire that and applaud it.
Unless you’re a Yankees fan, but I’m getting off topic.
In regards to being your own personal brand, I love this quote from Gary Vaynerchuk: “It's important to build a personal brand because it's the only thing you're going to have. Your reputation online, and in the new business world is pretty much the game, so you've got to be a good person. You can't hide anything, and more importantly, you've got to be out there at some level”.
Look…there’s no denying that I can be the King of the Over-thinkers. I think and feel, and hurt way more than I should. Has that affected my success? I guess that depends on your definition of success.
It’s who I am…it’s what I do.
Very early in my career, I was traveling with one of my reps…an older, far more worldly and experienced man. We were doing sales calls through his territory…an area in which he was quite well known and liked…as opposed to me, a relative newbie in the position of Sales Manager with this company.
I listened to him charm and schmooze his way through presentations. Damn, he was good. Interweaving our products into personal anecdotes. He was a master. When I tried, I was awkward and clumsy (as opposed to how I am now: awkward, clumsy, and older).
He’d been selling to these people for many years. They knew and liked him. Me…not so much. I wanted them to like me like they liked him (yes…the grammarian in me knows that should read “as they liked him”, but I was all about alliteration there). So my schpiel would consist of product knowledge with a little background about me, my business history, and my family. Yes, the Trophy Wife put in a lot of appearances in my conversations that week, especially because she was pregnant. Sure I talked about that…a lot. It was a big deal (and still is!).
After one of our appointments, my rep said to me that I needed to cut back on the personal stuff. These people didn’t care about any of that. Get in, sell, and get out.
No…it wasn’t a suggestion. While he was in no position to order me to do so, I took it as a command from on high…cut out the personal stuff.
And I didn’t. Or couldn’t. Or wouldn’t. Try as I might, to this day I can’t help but get personal. Social media has a lot to do with that, I suppose, as I know when your child scored a goal or lost a tooth. But my references to The Trophy Wife, for example, pre-date my Facebook experiences, and I have many people ask for or refer to her by that name still. We are all in each other’s lives, to some extent.
Was my rep right or wrong? It’s really not for me to say. His brand was just that: HIS brand, and it worked for him. My brand works for me.
And you can take that personally. I do.
Mike Schenker, MAS, is “all that” at Mike Schenker, Consulting, where he assists businesses entering the promotional products industry, mentors professionals, and offers association management. He is a promotional industry veteran and member of the Specialty Advertising Association of Greater New York (SAAGNY) Hall of Fame. He can be reached at mike@mikeschenker.com