“Tell me what you want, what you really, really want.”
I never thought a pop hit from the '90s would be applicable to my professional life, but here I am telling you to heed the advice of the Spice Girls in 2016. And I’m not the only one. But negotiation is a massive, looming, intimidating beast that not many people know how to tame.
Negotiation skills span beyond the professional realm and seep into the personal lives of everyone. So why is it that men are four times more likely to ask for a raise than women? Part of it can be attributed to oppression, but ultimately people fear failure. Well, that’s foolish. Failure is part of life; it’s how you learn, grow and become a humble, decent human being (unless you’re my older brother who effortlessly exceeds at everything he’s ever tried ever). People fail at negotiation because of fear, confrontation, the chance that they won’t get what they ask for, a lack of confidence, and the outdated notion that proper ladies don’t make demands.
Whelp, I’m a classy woman and I demand that you start negotiating. Every time you don’t ask, for whatever reason, you lose. You lose money, happiness and value. Women have developed the unfortunate habit of looking to be acknowledged without asking to be acknowledged. Waiting for someone to notice you is a waste of time.
Women still make 79 cents for every dollar of their male counterpart. Why is this still a thing? What’s even worse, is that African American women make 63 cents to their white male counterpart, and Hispanic/Latina women, a mere 54 cents! I was struck dumb when I read those statistics. What’s even slightly more disturbing is the fact that millennials have statistically proven to be quite good at negotiating salary. Their seemingly unjustified sense of worth is actually beneficial for negotiations.
Like those millennials, you need to know your worth (your actual worth though, not what you think you’re worth simply because you exist). Everything has value: your skills, your time, and yes, even your creativity, especially your creativity. Thanks to the internet, there are online time calculators, so you know exactly how much your time is worth. Clearthinker.org and learnvest.com are two sites you may want to check out.
Before You Negotiate
Educate yourself. If you’re selling, check out the pricing of your competition. If you’re gunning for a promotion, research the salaries of similar jobs in your area.
Timing matters. But when does it not? Know the fiscal cycle of your company and figure out how that affects how the company spends their money. Can they afford to give you a raise right now? Are you able to impact their profitability? Money is king.
Be realistic. Know the true value of the product/your position. Ask for slightly above your target price to ensure that you’re getting the best deal possible.
Be Respectful. Nobody wants to negotiate with a brat. Avoid being abrasive, but walk the line between demanding and confident. Frequently as women, we have the added complication of navigating the preconceived notion that we’re just being over emotional.
Be confident. Body language says everything you don’t. Avoid weak postures like covering your mouth and folding your arms. Embrace strong language like having your chest lifted, keep your head held high and put your hands on your hips. Look up Amy Cuddy’s presentation on Ted Talks about power positions if you want to know more. Be sure to speak slowly and be aware of how much you’re actually saying. Anticipate counters and objections by preparing backup offers that don’t compromise your value.
Be silent. Present your case and then listen. It’s tempting to start backtracking and diminishing your worth when nothing but silence follows your argument. But give them time to think about your offer. Stay strong my friend.
Be tough. Negotiations are like trying to wrangle a hog. Very few people can sack a hog and tie it up on the first attempt; that’s ludicrous. Every squeal is a negative reaction. But through perseverance, hard work and resilience, you manage to pull yourself up by your mud crusted boot straps and go after that hog until you’re able to negotiate around its refusal.
Negotiations have been known to be daunting, impossible tasks, especially for women. But we’re never going to start closing the pay gap between genders if we wait for someone else to tell us what we’re worth.
Tayla Carpenter is the project manager for iPROMOTEu. She developed and currently manages A Woman's View, a program specifically designed to support women distributors in the promotional products industry. Contact Tayla at tcarpenter@ipromoteu.com.