Hopefully this is a real issue for you. Not having your parents around is much worse, trust me.
There are a lot of things to consider as time passes and their age progresses, among them -
Living accommodations
Financial planning
Legal planning
Their needs as well as yours
The first step is the hardest. You need to have the “conversation.” Include your siblings and any other family members who might contribute. This can be very painful, but it is absolutely necessary. They may not want the conversation. As they approach end of life, it can be very emotional for them. This is where finances and living accommodations have to be addressed. Can they afford what they want? Are you prepared to assist financially? Physically where do they want to live? Near family? Better climate? Will they be happy in an independent living facility? Do your research about options BEFORE you have the first conversation.
Should they still be driving a car? What liabilities might they or the estate have if they refuse to give up their car and license? Can they take care of themselves independently?
Once you have some sort of understanding, then you need to map out the plan.
What are their assets and income? Think in terms of completing the same types of forms that you used to apply for a mortgage. Detailed assets, liabilities, income and expenses. This will help you determine what they can afford without additional support. It will also ultimately help in the estate plans. You can find these forms in a simple Internet search.
Where are all of the documents and records? Are they accessible to you? Do you need to “fix” them? Do they have a current will? What about a living will?
At this point, you may need some legal and/or financial advisor. Do not be shy, as you only get one chance to prepare these plans, so do it right. The larger or more complicated the future estate, the more important this stage is.
The topic of a power of attorney is also critical. There are many different types of power.
This will be a very emotional time for all of you. Plan properly, keep everyone involved if at all possible, and enjoy every moment with your parents.
There are many resources which can give more detailed advice. AARP has a wonderful guide - https://assets.aarp.org/www.aarp.org_/articles/foundation/aa66r2_care.pdf - as well as many other living facilities.
You are welcome to chat with me, as we experienced this first hand with our now late Mom.
A 1975 graduate of the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania, Harvey enjoyed a 20+ year career in commercial banking, exercising his “golden parachute” in 1996. In his volunteer life, he is a past chair of the Small Business Banking Unit of the American Bankers Association, Easter Seal Society of New Jersey, the SAAGNY Foundation, PPAF EXPO, and Supplier Committee of PPAI. He is also a past President of PPAF. PPAI awarded him the H. Ted Olson Humanitarian Award in 2013.