I don't do this often. I just threw away a T-shirt. Not just any T-shirt… a promotional T-shirt. One that I had (gasp) purchased. As a souvenir. At retail (bigger GASP). Chances are you've seen the shirt. No… not on me, but in passing. It's from a very popular dive bar: Sloppy Joe's in Key West, FL. It has a rendering of Ernest Hemingway on it, looking all manly – know the one?
Let's sidebar here for a second. Current list price for the shirt in question: $21.95.
Ash colored T-shirt, maybe a wholesale cost of $2. Two-color imprint, add another $1, maybe $2. For the sake of discussion, let's say that it might be a three-color imprint so $3 for printing, max. So you're looking at a $5 cost on this garment that's being sold for $21.95. Well played, Sloppy Joe's… well played.
Having been a garmento for so many years, it always pained me to pay retail for a promotional shirt, but there was something so ironically tacky that made me what to own that shirt… like the time I bought one for my son while visiting the Nixon Museum, but I digress.
The Sloppy Joe shirt in question had finally started to fade. The shirt itself had held up well, but the imprint was starting to go. Perhaps due to my professional background, the quality of the imprint was more important than the garment itself. Trust me, I'll get another one soon enough.
Is this the start of a purge? Perhaps. It's officially autumn now… nearly time to take down the winter clothes and put away summer's.
Anyone else depressed now? And I do have too many T-shirts. I know that. I have too many SAAGNY shirts, SAAGNY Foundation shirts and SAAGNY anniversary shirts. Maybe I don't have a problem and SAAGNY does.
But I'm the one who needs to make room so it's time to start purging, which I've done, starting with that Sloppy Joes shirt. Unofficially, I'd say that shirt was about 10 years old and I held onto it all this time, and that's not helping my industry one bit. T-shirts like that need to be worn to death, then pitched and then replaced. Circle of life and all that. Let someone get a re-order.
Guess I’m not a friend to this profession after all. Is it my fault that these shirts hold up so well? Industry statistics state that the average lifespan of a promotional T-shirt is just a few years. As I said, this one was about 10. Other shirts I have are nearly that old.
Wait... my Maui Downhill shirt was purchased (what, again?) in 2003. It has held up quite well (although I wouldn't mind going back to replace it). Twelve years old! Once again, I'm not helping my industry.
Math was never my strong suit. Something I’ve addressed in previous columns. So maybe one of you geniuses can assist me.
The Sloppy Joe shirt (now) costs $21.95. Maybe, way back when, I paid $15 for it? In that it's about ten years old, I should have "replaced" it a couple of times over at, let's say $18.
Is this a testament to the garments, or to my laundering skills? I more than got my money's worth from that T-shirt – and many others. At this point, I should have put some money back into the industry by purchasing new souvenir shirts (sidebar to the Trophy Wife: maybe we need to go on more vacations). But I haven't.
From this vantage point, it's the fault of the shirts, not mine. As such, I think someone must owe ME money for those shirts. Sloppy Joe's, Maui Downhill, Doc Waters (up in Alaska… another fun dive bar)… they’ve gotten years of free advertising thanks to me.
That in mind, I'll be waiting for my check(s).
Mike Schenker, MAS, is a promotional industry veteran and member of the Specialty Advertising Association of Greater New York (SAAGNY) Hall of Fame. He can be reached at mike@mikeschenker.com.