Bullying has been at the forefront of parental concerns for years – and for good reason, as it is a documented cause of depression, anxiety, and diminished academic achievement in children. With the advent of the internet, bullying has taken on new forms (cyberbullying) that truly make it impossible to avoid, even as adults.
Almost everyone I know has been targeted by a bully at some point in their lives, and I’m no exception. While I was born in the suburbs of Chicago, I really grew up just north of Dallas having moved there at the tender age of 8 in the summer of 1978. Coleshire Drive in Plano, Texas was right out of central casting for 1970’s suburbia: kids riding bikes without helmets while sitting on banana seats, playing – and sometimes using as weapons – lawn darts, and using tanning oil in an effort to have the most bronze skin on the block. To be sure, it was a very different world.
As July gave way to August, it was time to head back to school where I would begin 4th grade. It was difficult to meet friends during my first few months in Texas as most of my peer group already knew each other and there wasn’t the forced togetherness of classes that forge friendships. Summer, while always a delightful respite from school, was a social free-for-all which made heading back to an institute of learning appealing for the first time in my young life.
Shepherd Elementary was a little over half a mile walk from my house and required navigating my new neighborhood on a daily basis. At the corner of Coleshire and Wilson lived a classmate named Jackson. Okay, his name wasn’t Jackson, but I really don’t feel like calling anyone out for mistakes that are now over 40 years old. In any event, I was hopeful Jackson and I would become friends so when he ambled out of his house as I paraded by on my way to the first day of classes, I nervously approached and introduced myself. At first, he seemed friendly enough and we engaged in the usual chit-chat as we made our trek to the school: who would have the widest collars on their shirts, which pet rock was the best, and when the latest 8-track tape from the Bee Gees would hit stores. When we got to school grounds, however, our dynamic changed – and changed dramatically.
About 50 feet from the entrance, he stopped, turned to me, and said, “you’re new, so you need to know how this works. You’re going to give me a quarter every day or I’ll work you over.” I stared blankly at him because I wasn’t quite certain what “work you over” meant, but I had a feeling it wasn’t good. Before I had a chance to reply, he reiterated, “beginning tomorrow, you give me a quarter or I’ll work you over.” At this point, I did the math and new that my new “friend” was going to beat me to a pulp if I didn’t hand over $0.25 every day.
Now, remember that this is 1978 and a quarter could buy 2 first-class postage stamps, a half-gallon of gas, or a full-sized Hershey bar, so that figure represented a lot of money for this young writer. Even though I didn’t have a lot of money, I earnestly complied because, candidly, I really didn’t want to get “worked over.” However, after about two weeks of my daily payment, I was broke so I had a decision to make: stand up to Jackson or start swiping silver coins out of my mom’s purse.
Jackson was a big kid and seemed to have anger issues, so I promptly began a short-lived career as a petty thief. The career was short-lived due to the fact I wasn’t very good at it and got caught a few days after my first robbery. This led to an apology, a meeting between the two parents, and Jackson had to pay me back.
I thought my days of being bullied were behind me, but I was wrong as over the past six months I’ve encountered an antagonist that I call the “corporate bully.”
The corporate bully almost always works outside your organization but tracks everything you and your company does, lying in wait for just the right time to publicly or privately question the way you go to market, products offered, or even how social media posts are positioned. While often times the sharp and unwelcome criticism is disguised as a well-meaning comment – or even an offer of assistance – the true reason is to force you into questioning the decisions you make.
In my personal experience, this guerrilla detractor used his/her professional stature to suggest the way I marketed PromoCorner offerings as offensive to the industry and damaging to my personal relationship with him/her.
Again, I found myself at a decision point: do I pander to the corporate bully or do I face him/her down? This time, I chose the latter. I carefully considered the criticism because I believe, as author Jay Baer writes, in hugging your haters. Basically, this means embracing complaints and responding to them with empathy as opposed to simply dismissing them.
Over the course of several different communications, I respectfully disagreed and, even though I was under no obligation to do so, patiently explained my reasoning for doing things the way I did them. Rather than engaging in thoughtful discourse, the corporate bully dug in his/her heels and expressed how I was causing harm to the industry and had questionable character. At this point, my patience was exhausted and I sent a final communication that, while respectful, was pointedly clear that it was my business to run and that he/she shouldn’t be concerned about it moving forward.
I haven’t heard from the corporate bully since.
The lesson here is simple: when you do work that matters, there will always be people who question, quibble, or otherwise object to the way you do it. This is especially true when you are attempting to do things in a non-traditional manner. When a corporate bully appears and causes you to doubt what you do, give the denunciation careful thought and then respond respectfully. If the corporate bully continues to insist on trying to change the way you are doing things to appease him/her, send a final note expressing gratitude for the interest in your work and move on.
Sadly, bullying doesn’t stop due to age as the internet has provided endless avenues for autocratic and, frankly, arrogant, bluster. Much like I should have done in 4th grade, don’t allow a bully to intimidate you into questioning your work to the point of doing something you wouldn’t normally do. Just like any criticism the best route is to listen, digest, respond, end the conversation, and end the conversation as Willy Wonka would: “Good day, sir.”
Bill is president of PromoCorner, the leading digital marketing service provider to the promotional products industry, and has over 18 years working in executive leadership positions at leading promotional products distributorships. A featured speaker at numerous industry events, a serial creator of content marketing, president of the Regional Association Council (RAC) board, and PromoKitchen chef, Bill has extensive experience coaching sales teams, creating successful marketing campaigns, and developing branding that resonates with a target audience. He can be reached at bill@PromoCorner.com.