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The Fear of Freedom and Independence

The lessons of parenting can also be applied to management.

10/22/2018 | Bill Petrie, Petrie's Perspective

48 hours after this blog is posted, my twin boys will turn the magical age of 16 which means they will be of legal driving age in the state of Tennessee. Just as the day I turned 16, they will head to the local DMV, take their written and driving tests, and, should they pass, walk out of that government building with a sense of freedom they didn’t have just an hour before.

As a parent, it likely won’t surprise you that I have mixed emotions about this. Since they were very tiny humans, my bride and I have always tried to guide them so they would make the right decisions once they became adults. Or, at the very least, the wrong decisions they make won’t be of the life-altering kind.

One of the things we fervently believe is that the best gift we can give our children is the confidence to be independent. However, the moment that they are granted by the state government the freedom to experience that independence, it will become very difficult for us to honor that gift the way it has always been intended. Once their driving test is over, a true test of our parenting skills will begin.

While I have been looking forward to the day where I didn’t have to be a family Uber driver every weekend, I’m not afraid to admit that I’m petrified about the coming weeks and months. I’m scared that we haven’t prepared them to be as ready as they need to be to drive a 3,500-pound machine solo that, in a split second, can cause pain, destruction, and even death. Candidly, I’m not sure I’m fully prepared to white-knuckle watching them drive away that first time, hoping and praying they make it home safely.

However, that fear is a natural byproduct of their freedom and independence – one that we must fight through to be the best parents possible. In reality, it’s no different with employees. As executives, we should always strive to hire people that, when ready, do more than simply handle freedom and independence, they thrive in it. Either intentionally or unintentionally, supervisors find themselves micromanaging employees because they fear one of the following:

  • The job won’t be done exactly the way the manager would have done it

  • Being disconnected from the process due to loss of control

  • The feeling of being powerless

For employees to become the best version of themselves, they need to be trained, guided, and finally granted the freedom and independence to do their jobs in their own way. This will lead to mistakes, oversights, and frustrating moments. However, when done well, it will also lead to innovation, process improvement, and growth.

When it comes to children and employees, it’s simply hard to trust and let go – even when you know it’s the right thing to do. By giving children the ability to make their own decisions, you enable them to gain the confidence they will need to face life’s many challenges. By the same token, giving employees the latitude to find their own way to reach common goals – with the guidance that goes along with it – you entrust them to become stewards of the organization.

As for my two red-headed boys, I’m proud of the young men they are becoming. While they can be petulant, frustrating, selfish, and even hurtful at times, at their core they are good human beings with an intelligence and confidence I never had at their age. While I will continue to have mixed emotions every time they drive away, I know that this is part of being a good parent – one I strive to be every day. If you happen see one of two good-looking red-headed boys navigating the streets of Franklin, TN in the coming weeks, smile and know that they are embracing their freedom and independence as they take another step to becoming excellent young men.

Bill is president of PromoCorner, the leading digital marketing service provider to the promotional products industry, and has over 17 years working in executive leadership positions at leading promotional products distributorships. A featured speaker at numerous industry events, a serial creator of content marketing, immediate past president of the Promotional Products Association of the Mid-South (PPAMS), vice president of the Regional Association Council (RAC) board, and PromoKitchen chef, Bill has extensive experience coaching sales teams, creating successful marketing campaigns, and developing branding that resonates with a target audience. He can be reached at bill@PromoCorner.com.

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