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The True Power of Conversation

Margaret Miller: “Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness.”

1/5/2016 | Gregg Emmer, Marketing Matters

Just about everything you have read or learned about selling has likely come from the old ABC (Always Be Closing) school of sales training. You were taught to control the conversation. But even Willy Loman (Arthur Miller's character in Death of a Salesman) knew he talked too much but couldn't stop. Knowing why it is important to have conversations with our customers, what the goal is and how to avoid delivering monologues will help you overcome what Willy could not.

There are four common reasons a salesperson talks too much. There may be many others but these four (in no particular order) have at one time or another had an effect on the performance of all of us.

1) Too focused on the product

2) Nervous, intimidated

3) No plan

4) Distracted

There is however an underlying obstacle and the catalyst for our monopolizing the conversation. That obstacle is selling. Think about how many times you have changed your path in a store to avoid the salesperson. Consider the worst part of buying a new car. Why do you hate answering the phone at dinner time? We all hate to be "sold" anything! So the very first thing to do is stop thinking of or referring to yourself as a salesperson. Be a representative, marketing advisor, advertising consultant, business service or any other title that suggests helping your customer.

Once you do that you can quickly overcome being too focused on products. Rather than selling anything you will want to discover what your client (the word customer can go away with the word salesperson) is interested in accomplishing for his business. Then you can recommend and demonstrate how a promotional program will help accomplish his (the client's) goal – not yours! Since this approach will have the client doing most of the talking, it should help eliminate any nervousness too. Two down and two to go!

Since every business meeting (no longer a sales call) is different having a plan might seem a bit difficult. But if the goal is to help your client reveal what he wants for his business, and that is pretty much the same for all initial meetings, a plan is quite easy. It can be as simple as developing a foundation building question.

When I was actively meeting with new clients my question was, "What is the most important thing you are working on or thinking about right now?" I occasionally get answers like "shaving four strokes off my game" or "how do I avoid dinner with my in-laws?" – but generally I would learn that there were too many accidents on the production floor or turnover of office staff was too high or customer loyalty was very low or moral was low and getting lower. The business owner would outline what he was working on and I would craft a solution that met the need. I provided exactly what the client told me he needed to buy. He didn't say he needed sport shirts, he needed happy employees - that is what the transaction was built upon. I didn't sell him anything, he invested in the outcome he wanted.

Overcoming distractions starts with putting your phone on silent and not looking at it even if it does vibrate! Next take a quick look around the room or office and ask a question about anything that interests you. Is there a model of a motorcycle on the desk? How about a picture obviously drawn by a child? Any awards or trophies? By asking about something in the office the first few moments of "small talk" is all about the client. It makes the response to your foundation building question a natural. Useful information will be free flowing and you can quickly zero in on what the client needs. And since you started the meeting by looking around the room, you don't need to do that at any point during the meeting – just don't do it!

The French Philosopher Jean de la Bruyere said, "The greatest gift of conversation lies less in displaying it to ourselves than in drawing it out or others." In business meetings you learn nothing when you are the one talking. Conversation done well is perhaps the most powerful tool in your success toolbox.

One final thought, if you have digested this article and embrace the real power of conversation then I want to congratulate you on your promotion from salesperson to consultant and on the growth of your business this next year!

Gregg Emmer is chief marketing officer and vice president at Kaeser & Blair, Inc. He has more than 40 years experience in marketing and the promotional specialty advertising industry. His outside consultancy, providing marketing, public relations and business planning consulting to a wide range of other businesses, has been a useful knowledge base for K&B Dealers. Contact Gregg at gemmer@kaeser-blair.com.

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