As a good many of you know, I turned 50 last Thursday which many view as a “milestone” birthday – likely because the last number is zero. It’s this birthday where well-intentioned people start saying things like, “age is just a number.” The truth is that my brain still tells me I’m 19 most of the time even if my body does a very good job of reminding me that I’m not. Yes, I’m looking at you lower back.
I do suppose turning half a hundred a good time to reflect on one’s journey – both personally and professionally. Since this is my blog and still my birthday month, I hope you’ll indulge me as I share some of the things I thought about the past week as I eagerly await the arrival of my AARP card:
My Inner Critic
Even at 50, after speaking at countless events, and putting my honest, raw, and candid thoughts out for public consumption, I still have that inner critic that tells me I’m about to fail. That means every time I push “publish” on a blog, hit the “post” button on a podcast, or walk on stage in front of people, I’m scared to death. Oh, I may exude all the confidence in the world, but inside I’m quivering like a bowl of raspberry Jell-O in a California earthquake. In the past, I’ve allowed that inner critic to stop me from moving forward, taking necessary risks, and turned me into a bit of a milquetoast. Over time, however, I’ve learned to use that inner critic to my advantage. Most people will tell you to silence that inner critic, but I’m not most people. In my mind, the inner critic needs to be harnessed rather than silenced for one simple reason: the words are the exact fuel needed to overcome fear. I listen to the inner critic – and anyone who tells you they don’t is fibbing to you – but now I simply acknowledge the fear and continue moving forward. I am much happier personally and more successful professionally because I’ve learned how to harness the inner critic to make bold decisions, push past fear, and take chances.
The Smartest Person in the Room
Let me be clear, I’ve never been the smartest person in any room I’ve been in – period. However, for many years I desperately wanted to be the smartest person in the room. In doing so, I was a horrible listener as I focused so hard on trying to say something witty or intelligent at the exact right time it was impossible to really listen to anyone. So desperate to be liked and accepted, I HAD to be the center of attention which only served to make me look exactly that: desperate. I look back on that version of me and shake my head with a mixture of laughter and embarrassment, but mostly embarrassment. I was a real self-absorbed jackass and I’m really glad I’m not that person today. I can’t pinpoint when I finally felt comfortable enough in my own skin to just be me, but it was somewhere around 9 or 10 years ago. In that ensuing decade, I learned not only that I didn’t need to be the smartest person in the room, I truly didn’t want to be. The moment I realize I didn’t need to be the center of attention, I suddenly found that people were much more interested in what I had to say – even if I am simply listening (and learning) to others.
Experiences Over Things
Humans love to collect things – especially us Americans. There’s a famous routine by one of my favorite comedians, George Carlin, where he breaks down our obsession with “stuff” as follows:
- A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it
- Sometimes we have to get a bigger house because we’re running out of room for our stuff
- When we go on vacation we try to take as much of our stuff as we can
- When we go on an excursion during the vacation, we have to pack a smaller version of our stuff
For most of my fifty years on this planet I’ve done a superb job of accumulating all manner of things: some of them useful, many of them forgotten, and more than a few of them lost. About six years ago I decided I really didn’t want any more “stuff” – I wanted experiences. In that time I’ve learned how to smoke and barbecue meat, make sushi, gone on fantastic trips, seen some fabulous concerts and sporting events, even learned to tend bar a little bit. Those who know me know I have an unabashed love of music - something that’s been ingrained in my soul since I was a boy. Even so, I’ve always been content to sit on the sidelines when it came to learning an instrument – something I no longer wish to do. So, this year when asked what I wanted for my birthday, I suggested that I’d like a guitar and some lessons to go along with it – and that’s exactly what I got. I’m nervous, excited, anxious, scared, and empowered; isn’t that how turning 50 should feel?
While I could go on and on (and on), I’ll self-edit my blog for once. Suffice to say that I’m a very lucky man: I have a beautiful family, tremendous friends, work with people I respect and admire, and am about to embark on a journey to finally learn an instrument. So, while age is a number, it’s also an important number because it allows taking stock on where I am, how far we’ve I’ve come, and where I want to go.
Since it’s 4:30 right now, I want to go over to Denny’s to get the senior discount on a Moons Over My Hammy before the early bird special expires.
Bill is president of PromoCorner, a digital marketing, media, and advertising agency, and has over 20 years working in executive leadership positions at leading promotional products distributorships. A featured speaker at numerous industry events, a serial creator of content marketing, president of the Regional Association Council (RAC) board, and PromoKitchen chef, Bill has extensive experience coaching sales teams, creating successful marketing campaigns, and developing branding that resonates with a target audience. He can be reached at bill@promocorner.com.