By my account, we’re in the 207th month of this pandemic. Knowing full well that math was never my strong point, and how we collectively might have lost all sense of time, I admit that my numbers might be a little off. Like how the month of October seemed to take an entire year.
Nevertheless, the pandemic…and its restrictive ways…continues. While we could start to get encouraged by the reports of the success rates of various vaccines, as long as people continue to wear their masks around their chins, we’re doomed. I don’t understand what one could accomplish with a mask down there. Then again, I never understood the point of wearing one’s pants down below their butt.
There’s a correlation there, I’m sure.
I’ve been rocking a mask since Day One. I’ve become something of an expert, having gone from the disposable paper ones, to gaiters, to one-ply fabric, to stopping just short of wearing an old-school deep sea diver helmet (were it not for the tendonitis in my shoulder I’d have given that a shot)…I’ve tried a variety of them. Perhaps as a slap to the covered faces of the promotional products industry, I have yet to wear a logoed mask. I think the only one I’d want is from the musical Hamilton, featuring the line attributed to Aaron Burr: “Talk less, smile more”.
Which, in retrospect, is hard to do. Or, at least, difficult for the person with whom you’re speaking to determine. By wearing masks, it’s gotten harder to read someone’s face in order to find deeper meaning to what they might be saying.
It’s no secret to anyone close to me that I have a bit of a hearing problem. By your wearing a mask (which I greatly appreciate, by the way), it’s gotten that much harder for me to understand when you’re speaking. If there’s a plexiglass screen between us, it’s that much worse. Your mask might further prevent me from fully comprehending what you’re trying to say.
I read something recently written by the head coach of the Mississippi State University Speech and Debate Team, Cheryl Chambers. She offered some suggestions as to how to effectively communicate even while hidden behind that piece of fabric. Amongst her thoughts were the following snippets:
“Facial expressions are the primary way people exhibit emotion and decipher the feelings of others. Happiness, sadness, surprise, disgust, fear and surprise can be communicated through facial expressions alone. But when part of the face is masked, it becomes more difficult to recognize these cues. “
“Fortunately, you can regain some control over communication by working with what you have left – the eyes. If you want to increase understanding with a masked individual, you should look them in the eyes – which may be easier said than done. Eye contact triggers self-consciousness, consumes extra brain power and becomes uncomfortable after only three seconds. But bear in mind, eye contact can also make you appear more intelligent and trustworthy.”
I know this to be true. I smile so infrequently (sure, I could blame 2020, but c’mon…it’s me), so when I do, it’s easy to tell as you can read it in my eyes. The fact that my glasses have fogged over from the mask shouldn’t keep you from knowing that the infamous Schenker smirk is hidden beneath.
Another “tell” would be body language. Chambers wrote, “when someone is happy, they stand up straighter and lift their head; when they are sad, they slouch and drop their head; and when they are angry, their whole body tenses up. Learning how people use their bodies to convey emotion may help reduce the uncertainty you feel when communicating with someone in a mask.”
She added that we should be aware of our own body language. “When engaged in a conversation, you can appear more attentive by turning your body toward the individual, leaning in or nodding. To let another person know you want to start speaking, straighten your posture, hold up your index finger or nod more frequently. Finally, be aware that imitating the posture of another person can increase how much they like you and even agree with you.”
Her final insight involves the voice. For me, I know that, along with my rapier wit and brilliant dance moves, my speaking voice is one of my most distinguishable trademarks. Chambers feels that our actual voices are crucial to better communication…now more than ever. She wrote, “It’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it. Along with the actual words, you also use volume, tone, pauses and fillers to convey your message. For instance, a lower-pitched whisper may denote sadness or insecurity, whereas a higher-pitched shout could show anger or intensity.”
“If you feel the need to speak louder, just be aware that raising your voice can alter the message you are trying to send. Changing the tone of your voice can change the whole conversation, so instead of increasing volume, try improving enunciation.”
Look…I know I make light of a lot of things. I have always used humor as a mask (you’ll pardon the expression). The fact of the matter is that we’ve got a ways to go before we can engage in meaningful face-to-actual-face conversations. The sooner we learn to adapt to this new normal, the better chance we have at thoughtful communication.
One final thought: wearing a mask does not preclude you from flossing.
Mike Schenker, MAS, is “all that” at Mike Schenker, Consulting, where he assists businesses entering the promotional products industry, mentors professionals, and offers association management. He is a promotional industry veteran and member of the Specialty Advertising Association of Greater New York (SAAGNY) Hall of Fame. He can be reached at mike@mikeschenker.com.