What’s Your Joy

We sat in the dining room of a friend’s home, having just finished a delicious and filling meal. Our friend’s mom, a former dance instructor who has since passed away, sat across from me and asked the question, “What’s your joy?” It was a question not often asked, and one by one we went around the table as she queried each of us, looking for an answer that came from our hearts.

For one of us, it was traveling and being able to help others go to the places she had been. Another told us reading was his passion—and taking naps (one with which I could strong identify!). Yet another loved woodworking and spending time in his shop creating things others would use and enjoy.

When she got to me, I answered, “My joy is my family and the time we spend together with our adult children.” She responded that family should be a joy, but she probed deeper, wanting to know what lit my fire and what was it inside of me that sparked passion? I told her I loved to write and touch people’s hearts with the words I string together to form the articles and stories I create. I told her I also loved being creative and hoped to one day create a product that would touch people’s hearts. 

What this wise woman was hoping to do was to get me—and all of us around the table—thinking about what brought joy to our lives and how we could tap into it more often.

The sad part is that to survive in the work-a-day world, the majority of us have suppressed those things that make us passionate. Many have so repressed the things that bring them joy, they can’t even tell you what really gets them fired up. In each of us though, no matter how deeply we’ve buried it, there is a passion.  A passion that if brought to light and developed, will not only make us happier as individuals, but will also bring joy to others as well.

Your work may be your passion, but chances are it is not. You may love to paint pictures, play an instrument, work in your garden, or cook—and odds are you do this outside of your job. But why?

I have a friend who is very good at sketching and has turned this love into a career by drawing people’s homes in pen and ink. She then sells these pictures to homeowners to frame for their walls, put on note cards, holiday cards and other things with the house prominently displayed. She loves what she does and is able to touch people’s hearts with the artistic gifts she’s been given.

Given how our world has changed so drastically this year, maybe now is a good time to rethink your priorities. If you’ve lost your job, maybe finding your passion again can help you determine how to move forward.  But how do you go about rediscovering your joy and passion? Here are a few steps I’ve learned that may help:

• During some quiet time in your life, ask yourself what you consider fun? What do you get a kick out of doing? Richard Nelson Bolles, author of What Color Is Your Parachute?, says, “Imagine you’re at a party and you overhear someone talking about a subject that fascinates you, one that makes you want to join in the conversation. Ask yourself, what would that subject be?” Also, think back to your childhood and try to remember what you enjoyed doing back then. Chances are if you were passionate about something as a child, it’s probably something you can be passionate about as an adult as well.
• Determine your talents. Take a sheet of paper and brainstorm those things you enjoy doing and at which you’re good. We all have things we do that we enjoy and at which we are skilled, but if you have trouble listing your gifts, ask those you trust what they think your best skills are. These might include sports, artistic endeavors, working with your hands or being mechanical.
• Find the significance in your current work. Stephen Covey, author of the bestseller The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People, suggests asking yourself three questions:

1. 1. Do I like what I’m doing?
2. 2. Am I good at it?
3. 3. Does the world need it?

If you’re passionate about something, but the world doesn’t need it, chances are you’ll eventually get frustrated. But if you’re really good at something, enjoy doing it, and it’s something the world could use, what a chance to make a difference and earn a living at the same time. I truly believe we choose our career paths intuitively. If you can come to understand why you’re on the path you are, you’ll become empowered to make future choices to do the most good for yourself and the world around you.

Let’s face it, you’re going to spend tens of thousands of hours working during the course of your life, so why not spend that time doing something that will leave a positive imprint on those people and things you touch?

It has taken me years to combine all the things I love doing into the business my wife and I have created. Had someone told me five years ago Dawn and I would write a children’s book, create a plush moose with blue hooves, own patents in five countries and be selling kindness and joy, I would have said they were nuts. But here we are, doing just that. We took an idea that came to us literally out of the blue, developed it, became passionate about it, and have now launched a business that is just getting started. I’ve found my joy, as has Dawn, and I can’t imagine not doing this for the rest of my life. 

Finding your joy and a way to share it with others, as your life’s work or a hobby, is an adventure that can bring bountiful rewards. To me, it’s what life is all about, the reason I’m here, and why I wake up each day excited about the myriad of opportunities awaiting me. That’s not to say it’s always an easy adventure, but what in life that’s worthwhile is easy? Katharine Graham, former owner and publisher of the Washington Post, sums it up for me, “To love what you do and feel that it matters, how could anything be more fun?”